‘Hot for Teacher’ is a song by the American rock band Van Halen, taken from their sixth studio album, 1984. The song was written by band members Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen, Michael Anthony and David Lee Roth, and produced by Ted Templeman. It was released as the fourth and final single from the album in October 1984, and was the final single released during the band's 1974–1985 era. The song features Alex Van Halen's double bass drum performance, and its music video, featuring the band as both adults and young students. Unusually for a single, it begins with a 30-second drum solo, followed by another 30 seconds of instrumental introduction. The ending of this song comes from a studio demo from the band's club days, entitled ‘Voodoo Queen’.
The song has been described as a mixture of glam metal, heavy metal, and hard rock. The song's drum solo introduction composed and performed by Alex Van Halen starts with a speedy double kick drum half-time shuffle reminiscent of drummer Billy Cobham's tune "Quadrant 4" from 1973's Spectrum album, then borrows from the manic boogie rock–style of drummer Simon Phillips on the Jeff Beck song ‘Space Boogie’ (1980) with added tom drums.
The music video (directed by Pete Angelus and David Lee Roth) was filmed at John Marshall High School, with Phil Hartman performing the voice of Waldo, the video's protagonist. Waldo, an awkward boy with large glasses and a bow tie, is put on the school bus by his over-protective mother. He is terrified by the unruly kids on the bus; the driver played by Roth, tells him "si'down, Waldo!" as the opening drums begin. Along with Waldo, the "kid versions" of Van Halen face the trials and tribulations of grade school. Two models appear as teachers in the video, Donna Rupert (1981 Miss Canada pageant runner up), who plays the chemistry teacher, and Lillian Müller, who plays the Phys Ed teacher. Both teachers tear off their dresses to reveal a bikini, to the cheers of the students. At the end of the video, the kids are shown to have grown up to become a gynaecologist (Alex Van Halen), a sumo wrestler (Michael Anthony), a psychiatric hospital patient (Eddie Van Halen), and a game show host (Roth). While it is said that no one was sure what Waldo grew up to be, the video hints at him becoming a pimp, the total opposite of his child self. This is intercut with scenes with the band members dressed in red suits and dancing to the song under a disco ball.
In 2009 it was named the 36th best hard rock song of all time by VH1. Chuck Klosterman of Vulture.com ranked it the sixth-best Van Halen song, calling it "the encapsulation of almost everything Van Halen is known for, all within the space of five minutes: Athletic drumming, an extended guitar introduction that transitions into a thick principal riff, vocals that are spoken more than sung, two interlocked solos, and lyrics that are technically demeaning but somehow come across as non-toxic and guileless."
Label – Warner Bros.
Songwriters – Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen, Michael Anthony, David Lee Roth
Producer – Ted Templeman
SONG LYRICS
[Instrumental Intro][Interlude]
Oh wow, man, that's it
Wait a second, man
What do you think the teacher's gonna look like this year?
My butt, man
Oh, uh
Oh, yeah
[Verse 1]
T-t-teacher, stop that screamin', teacher, don't you see?
Don't wanna be no uptown fool
Maybe I should go to Hell, but I'm doin' well
And teacher needs to see me after school
[Pre-Chorus]
I think of all the education that I missed
But then my homework was never quite like this
[Chorus]
Ow, got it bad, got it bad, got it bad
I'm hot for teacher
I've got it bad, so bad
I'm hot for teacher
[Interlude]
Hey, I heard you missed us, we're back
I'm ready
I brought my pencil
Gimme something to write on, man
Yeah, go
Uh
Ooh
[Verse 2]
I heard about your lessons, but lessons are so cold
I know about this school
Little girl from Cherry Lawn, how can you be so bold?
How did you know that golden rule?
[Pre-Chorus]
I think of all the education that I missed
But then my homework was never quite like this
[Chorus]
Woah, got it bad, got it bad, got it bad
I'm hot for teacher
I've got it bad, so bad
I'm hot for teacher, wha-oh
[Guitar Solo]
[Interlude]
Oh man, I think the clock is slow, man
What are you doing this weekend?
I don't feel tardy
Class dismissed
Ooh, yeah
[Chorus]
I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad
I'm hot for teacher
Oh
Oh, a-yes, I'm hot
Wow
[Outro]
Oh my God
Woo