‘Cruel to Be Kind’ is a song co-written by Nick Lowe and his former bandmate Ian Gomm while the pair were in Brinsley Schwarz. The song only appeared as a 1978 B-side until Columbia Records convinced Lowe to rerecord it as a potential solo single. Musically, the song was inspired by "The Love I Lost" by Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes, an influence reflected in more recent performances of the song.
Released as a single in 1979, the song peaked at number 12 on the charts of Australia, Canada, the UK and the US. In the US, where it is one of Lowe's most well-known works, it remains his only single to hit the top 40, whereas in the UK ‘I Love the Sound of Breaking Glass’ remains his biggest hit, having reached number 7 a year earlier.
‘Cruel to Be Kind’ was originally written by Nick Lowe and Ian Gomm while in Brinsley Schwarz, having been recorded as a demo during the band's final years. The song was to appear on It's All Over Now, which was intended to be the band's final studio album but was never released; this version of ‘Cruel to Be Kind’ ultimately did not surface until 1978, when it appeared as a B-side of Lowe's single ‘Little Hitler’. Lowe stated, "I wrote that when I was with a band, Brinsley Schwarz, that I was with from the early '70s to about the mid-'70s. ... We recorded it on a demo, it never came out, and when I signed to Columbia Records the A&R man [Gregg Geller] there at the time suggested I record it again. And I didn't think it would do anything, but he kind of bullied me into it." Lowe recorded the song with his band Rockpile; he recalled, "I said, 'Boys, I'm sorry, I've got this song which I've been told we've got to record, and it goes like this.' They grumbled a bit about it."
‘Cruel to Be Kind’ proved to be Lowe's most successful American single. Lowe reflected on this, "When I had my couple of hits, I sort of felt like I was ticking a box more than, 'Great, I'm off now on a chart-topping career.' I felt that in order to do what I wanted to do, I had to do certain things, and one of them was to have a hit in my own right. At least one. I managed two or three, if you take in Europe. But in the United States, where it really matters, I had one hit and people still remember it, and it's a pretty good little song, you know?" Lowe continues to perform the song live and still looks favorably upon the song, saying, "I really love it. It cheers people up. ... If they're good songs, they really will stand the test of time".
The video for ‘Cruel to be Kind’ was the 67th video to air on MTV and is a combination of actual footage of Lowe's wedding to Carlene Carter, with a humorous re-enactment of the wedding, featuring Carter as herself, Dave Edmunds as their limo driver, Terry Williams as the photographer, Billy Bremner as the baker, and Jake Riviera (Nick's manager at the time) as the best man. The wedding took place on August 18, 1979, at the Tropicana Motel in West Hollywood. All family stayed there for the wedding and reception (also featured in the video). Filming for the video took so long that Lowe was actually late to the wedding.
Labels – Radar (UK), Columbia (US)
Songwriters – Nick Lowe, Ian Gomm
Producer – Nick Lowe
SONG LYRICS
Oh, I can't take another heartacheThough you say you're my friend
I'm at my wits' end
You say your love is bona fide
But that don't coincide
With the things that you do
And when I ask you to be nice, you say
You've gotta be cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you, baby
(You've gotta be cruel)
You've gotta be cruel to be kind
Well, I do my best to understand, dear
But you still mystify
And I want to know why
I pick myself up off the ground
To have you knock me back down
Again and again
And when I ask you to explain, you say
You've gotta be cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you, baby
(You've gotta be cruel)
You've gotta be cruel to be kind
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Well, I do my best to understand, dear
But you still mystify
And I want to know why
I pick myself up off the ground
To have you knock me back down
Again and again
And when I ask you to explain, you say
You've gotta be cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you, baby
(You've gotta be cruel)
You've gotta be cruel to be kind
(Cruel to be kind) Oh, in the right measure
(Cruel to be kind) Yeah, it's a very, very, very good sign
(Cruel to be kind) It means that I love you, baby
(You've gotta be cruel)
You've gotta be cruel to be kind
(Cruel to be kind) Oh, in the right measure
(Cruel to be kind) Yes, it's a very, very, very good sign
(Cruel to be kind) It means that I love you, baby
(You've gotta be cruel)
You've gotta be cruel to be kind
(Cruel to be kind) Oh, in the right measure
(Cruel to be kind) Yes, it's a very, very, very good sign